Interested Folk

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Trust Issues

The Hebrews were awful about trusting God. He sent plagues and parted seas and freed them from slavery, yet they built calves and idols to worship and lead them. Today we do not look to golden calves for salvation. No, we find other outlets. Alcohol, shopping, television, long work weeks, overly school focused (at least, that's mine).

God has earned my trust through the great things he has done for me. Even without considering the cross (although without a doubt that's the greatest grace ever to be received), I can just look at my life and see from what I've been saved.

My father was an alcoholic and drug addict. My mother was a jealous and accusatory person. My sister developed an insanely emotional complex. The first memory I have of my life is my father trying to murder my mother in an alcoholic rage, then my mother packing our bags to leave him. He came back the next morning while my grandmother was on her way to pick us up. He was clean, and has never touched an alcoholic beverage or drug since that night. God stepped in and revealed himself just in time to save my father and give me an amazing life. I grew up with a supportive, stable family that loved me beyond words. I can't imagine having a better life, all things considered. My dad turned into the most influential, encouraging, Godly, and spiritually directive person in my life. Yes, there are rough patches and things that have hurt me and led me to develop weirdities. That's everyone though.

The point is... God has earned my trust throughout my life, revealing himself in insane ways. He has told me that he has wonderful and beautiful plans for me. That I truly have a purpose, though I haven't a clue what it is. I don't know how to get there, yet for some reason I forget to look to the one who has made those plans for me. I matter somehow, and only He can tell me how; only He can give me purpose and meaning.

My grades aren't everything. A job isn't everything. Getting married isn't everything. Nothing can give me meaning but Christ alone.

I am missing the journey.

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