Beauty

“Beauty”

Given the right context, this word can lead a person above the clouds. Given the wrong circumstances, it can break a heart. Truly, it’s such an indescribably powerful word, or concept really.

Today I heard a friend telling my roommate what I assume was an insecurity about another woman having a crush on her boyfriend. How did my roommate respond? “It’s ok, you’re prettier.” And her friend? “Oh, I know. I’m not worried about her.”  

Why is that a comfort, to be told you’re more beautiful than competition, thus you will win the heart of a man? Shouldn’t you want to date someone because they love you for who you are, not your appearance? Beauty is so much deeper! Isn’t it?  

However, if that’s what she needed to hear at that moment, so be it.

I’m not bashing the idea of being told you’re beautiful. Not by any means. No, sir. I believe very strongly women need to feel beautiful. It’s part of our soul’s deep desire, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. * The entire book of the Bible Song of Songs is a man romancing a woman (Christ and the church specifically, but let’s leave it generic for arguments sake) by repeatedly expressing her captivating beauty . God romances us with beauty, including even the beauty of the world brought to life with the rising of the sun. Every day. Being told you’re beautiful is an incredibly powerful thing.

In fact, the idea for this entry was brought on as I was getting ready for bed. I had taken my contacts out, my hair was tossed in a bun, and I was brushing my teeth in front of the mirror. I was a mess. I was looking at my body and my curves, then at the shape of my face (all of which was very, very basic seeing as I’m completely blind without something aiding my vision). But guess what?  

I felt beautiful.

 Despite the mess I was, I was beautiful. I then remembered a male friend making fun of my female friend today. He said her shape was ugly and deformed. She just was odd and he felt sorry for her, more or less. I wondered… did he think that about me? He once told me I was pretty, but did he really mean it? So I asked him, “you don’t think my shape is weird, do you?” He replied, “nah. You’re ok.” Not terribly convincing, and was not at all the response I was hoping for, though that hope was poorly placed as this person rarely cheers me up. 

Suddenly, I was feeling down and that’s when I realized the power of those three words: “You are beautiful.”

I never used to let others see me without make up or in my pajamas or anything. Never. It was a guard I never let down. But now… I often find myself most confident in those moments when I’m just me. I am who God created me. No additions. No boundaries. And guess what?

You can’t take that away from me.

 I love to be told I’m beautiful (not even just about my appearance, but that who I am is beautiful). And I need that occasionally. But not always.  My God thinks I’m beautiful exactly how I am, inside. I don’t need a friend to tell me “it’s okay. You’re prettier.” Nah. I’m beautiful. God says so. And this time… I’m going to believe Him over any other person.

  

So… this turned out to be a somewhat shallow posting. The idea is so much deeper in my head, but for some reason I can’t seem to get it out quite right. Guess this just turned into one of those inevitable ramblings. How unfortunate.

* I take this concept from John and Stasi Eldredge in their books Captivating and Wild at Heart. The idea basically is our souls have deep desires which are the true driving forces for our beings. A man’s is to be the leader of an adventure, to be strong and great for his beautiful woman. A woman’s is to know she’s beautiful and be a part of the great adventure. And notice how perfectly our souls’ desires fit together?